Happiness is a state of mind

Happiness is a state of mind, like being hungry or tired; maybe not hungry or tired because those feelings can be fed, but it is a mood.  It comes and goes.

Most people focus on what’s going to happen or what they want to happen; when I get that promotion, when we have a baby, when we move house, then I’ll be happy. My guess is that when that happens your goals will change; I’ll be happy when I pay my debts off, when I lose some weight, in a year from now; will we ever be happy?

I get pissed off with myself when I’m in a bad mood; no one likes to be miserable.  The thing is I have absolutely nothing to be miserable about whatsoever.  I have the most flexible varied job I’ve ever had and work with some of the greatest people I’ve ever known, I have a wonderful boyfriend, family and friends. I have a pretty great life all in all, so why do I get fed up and sad? I don’t really know.  It makes me wonder whether the ultimate true happiness exists.    

I’ve been taking birth control pills for 15 years now and wonder if I would be different without them. After all it’s a hormone I’m putting in my body to stop the natural occurrence of a child growing.  Is this affecting my moods and if it is how much?

Is true happiness a myth that we think we’ll find when our goals are met and our dreams come true, even maybe a miracle.  Can we be satisfied or will we always need a line further away we aim to cross.

Yesterday I thought what if I imagine every day as my last, enjoy every bit of the day, the company, even the taste of food, because what if I don’t get another one.

But that doesn’t work and even if it did, you couldn’t live every day like your last because if it was you would end up drawing all of your money out of the bank and getting on a plane, so it’s not very realistic.

Living in the moment is hard because everyone is so busy or tired.  You can’t just call people now and go see them, you have to arrange it months ahead. I’m a bugger for it cause as much as I love being spontaneous, I’m always forward planning, I’m even forward planning when I am going to be spontaneous for Christ sake.

I get fed up when I’ve not enough time but then get fed up when I’ve 6 hours or 14 hours just because I’m on my own.  I get fed up staying in all the time, but fed up when my diary is full and I am out too much. 

Thinking about ‘holiday life’ when you’re on holiday or at least when I am on holiday, I don’t get in a bad mood.  So is this the answer?  Permanent holidays................

A place you choose to get away from it all, every day filled with activities or non activities of your choice. Adventures or relaxation, or both.  Beer and cocktails; no WORK.  A break from real life.  No alarm clocks, no TV and cooking dinner every night or going the gym/cycling to work/dieting............... a time to be free.  I was going to say something about the sun and beaches but then I remembered how much I loved Bulgaria, Krakow and Bangkok. 

I’d like to think freedom was the answer because that is where my goal is.  Doing something I have always wanted to do and having that freedom to do it, not after work or at weekends but every day as a job.  It’s a crapper being dictated to by our 9-5s.  I want to be free to work the times I want, if the sun comes out, be able to drop shit and just go outside.  If I’m having a bad day, I’ll just quit until tomorrow or open a cold beer.  I’ll not need to worry about fitting in my exercises after 8 hours at work because I’ll have the time to do a little every day or all day, whenever I want. 

There are many amazing things about my goals but there are also certain drawbacks, massive ones.  My family won’t live up the street anymore, the shop will be possibly 20 miles away, we won’t have sky movies, it will be -10 in the winters, there is not a pub in sight, there is no Primark, I can’t meet my friends for drinks; there are many more pros and cons but this blog isn’t about that.

The point is, even when my dreams come true there will still be days I cry because I miss my parents or my friends or some aspect of my old life. 

These goals that lie ahead are what keeps us happy and when we get there so what if we change our minds and make new rules.

We can’t be happy all the time, even when we are happy.

I suppose all we can do is embrace the times we are and try and deal with the times we aren’t.

We can’t always find a reason or answer to why,  it just is.

Hopefully the next day will be a good one.             

Whilst searching for pics I found these links.

http://www.mymostlyhealthylife.com/2012/11/choose-happiness.html

http://thehappinessshow.com/HappinessQuotes.htm