My first blog in quite some time

I’ve been in Thailand the past 4 weeks more details of that to come later. 

The holiday was everything I had hoped and envisaged spending every second of every day in a Thai soaked bubble with the man I love.

Now that I am back I am absolutely deflated by the reality that is my life.  The thing is I have a pretty splendid life but in contrast to the past month this one shrivels in comparison.  I think it’s the freedom that hurts the most.  Having control over your own life every day.    

I returned to England Thursday evening, Friday I could barely speak, Saturday was a little better - retail therapy.   Sunday was just a lull of miserable seconds ticking away counting down to my 9pm bedtime.  I couldn’t help crying but it didn’t make me feel any better.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this but it will be better when we can put the holiday behind us and sink back into a routine as right now it is truly saddening me just to wake up in this country let alone go into work and make like I want to be there when I can think of 2,332 other places I would rather be. 

I was originally positive whilst I was still there telling myself this year would be better than the last but obviously now I am back I am desperately trying to feel that way again.