I have a dream

Of course I have a dream I'm no different.  Well I like to think I am but aren't we all special in some kind of way!

My real dream which will never ever come true is to be filthy stinking rich.  Not born rich cause then I’d be a twat but to have inherited or had a lottery win or have found bags full of £100 pound notes buried in my back garden.  Dare I say have been spawned by Simon Cowell or Richard Branson oh no that does not comply with the above rule.

When I was younger I was expecting to develop special powers.  By the time I reached 18 I’d given up hope.

My ambition now is simply to ..................... write a book.  Not just any old book but one that is good enough for ‘others’ to read.  Good enough to be published and good enough to pay me enough money to perhaps try it again. 

I know this could be impossible but I am getting closer than just talking about it at least.  I'm making more time to do some writing and although I don’t have anything near I have at least put 75,000 words together.  I would say I've maybe another quarter to go and then hundreds of edits.   

The problem I have is I work 8 hours a day and 3 of those days I travel 60 miles into work and 60 miles back.  I have a lovely boyfriend too I have to feed and nurture etc.  I also like to get my hair wet now and again.  Is that even a saying? 

It’s my first attempt so of course I think it stinks big sweaty homeless balls.  I didn’t want to write this book as though I was the main character and for some fucked up reason I decided to write it as the third person.  I made it hard for myself.  Now I realise that the character is me, I fuckin well thought her up.  Also what’s wrong with me being me after all.  I can see some major rewriting having to take place.  God fuck shit and bollocks. 

I am going away for a month in two weeks time so I’ve deflected from all of this.  I intend to spend many a sunburnt afternoon dreaming up new ideas.  I do dream yes but I also know that I may have to write 12 effing books before I am any good or before anyone takes any notice of me so why not while away the sun soaked hangovers with some constructive story ideas for the future.  I know I will probably need them.